It seems obvious that when something feels good, we should do more of it. Doesn’t it?
Yet, we don’t do we? I’m not talking about eating a whole 12” pizza to yourself. I’m talking about the really goooood stuff. The stuff that feels good in your soul. The stuff that makes you feel alive, that gives you a feeling of ‘coming home’, that fills you up and makes you feel……..well, sometimes just so damned good there are no words for it.
You know that feeling, right?
I have had these feelings when I danced my heart out at a club, sang in a choir, ran through a wood, sat in nature and breathed in the air, swam in the sea. Strangely, it can be the things we hide or shy away from. It’s the one thing we might list under Guilty Pleasure.
It’s marked under the never ending category of “When I…”
Tick any of the following:
- – get time
- – have less to do
- – have seen to the kids/husband/granny etc first
- – have lost weight
- – earn enough
- – win the lottery
Blah, blah, blah.
Yes, it is all BLAH because basically all of the above can actually be filed under “When I think I deserve it”.
How often do we deny ourselves those simple pleasures that fill us up with joy because underneath it all we have our needs at the bottom of a made up list of things that are more important? We are conditioned to think that anything like doing something that is for ourselves is self indulgent, that there are other more pressing things we need to attend to first.
It’s the biggest myth of our time.
We can put off doing something we love because we think everything has to be perfect before it can happen – here’s some of my old conditions:
“I’d love to go dancing but what if people laugh at my dancing?” (I need dancing lessons first)
“I want to go swimming, but what if someone sees me?” (I need to lose weight first)
“I’d love to sing, but what if people don’t like my singing?” (I need singing lessons first)
“I’d love to just take off and sit in the woods all day reading and writing, but I can’t unless I have a) signed up x amounts of clients this week b) done the ironing c) got up at 4am and worked flat out for 6 hours first..” (I need to justify time off with how much work I have done)
All of those excuses can also go in the Blah, blah, blah bin!
That idea of perfect conditions is another made up list we have. You CAN have enough time, sing, dance, swim and do all of those things you YEARN to do – you can have the ‘perfect’ moment to do all of that. You simply have to believe you deserve it first – because when you do, everything else falls into place: You’ll find your voice, your dancing steps, you’ll not mind about extra pounds around your middle and you’ll manage all those routine and work things you have to do alongside the very thing you’re busting to do.
Finding out what makes our hearts sing and makes us come alive is not self indulgent, it is necessary – because if we don’t know those things we are missing a vital part of what makes us who we are. It’s like putting a jigsaw together and finding out the middle pieces are missing.
When we do the things that make us feel fulfilled, the feeling radiates out of us, it can’t not – it is in the energy we give off. Those around us can’t help but be touched by that. There’s nothing self indulgent about radiating and passing on good feelings.