I’m not much given to media speculation but one news story that has piqued my interest is about Louise Redknapp. The news coverage focuses on whether she has split from her husband Jamie and there is much opinion on her move to live separately and reignite her love of performance – but I have been listening a little more closely. While the media’s interest is on any whiff of scandal, I have been observing Louise’s transition to reclaim herself.
A few months ago i wrote a post on how we can often fall into living a predetermined life, living up to other people’s expectations. It can seem natural that we do this, especially as women we can defer our own needs and desires while we put others first. Think of this in terms of the roles we play: mother, daughter, wife, carer … this is not an exhaustive list, and while it is not exclusive to women, it cannot be denied that it is generally women that fall into the care giving roles. We put ourselves at the back of the queue when it comes to giving and caring.
The risk of this is that it compromises our own desires. Take a moment to consider how many things you would LOVE to do, bit have put on the back burner because you think a) you don’t have time b) it’s selfish c) there’s more important things to consider d) what would people think e) all of those and something else?
All of this has consequences. When we compromise ourselves (even when we do it with loving intention) we suppress our feelings, we push it all down. Suppression results in repression.
it is usually after a life changing event that we start to question our lives and ourselves. It can be when the children leave home, the end of a long term relationship, redundancy. While events can happen at any time, it does seem that many significant events occur around the menopause time of life. This is a cycle of transition for women.
So, OK, an appearance on Strictly may not be an event we are all likely to experience, but we can all have our ‘Strictly Moment’. A moment when we get to glimpse something more of ourselves; a moment when we experience the feelings we have long suppressed; a moment when we see we have been keeping ourselves hidden; a moment when we finally think ENOUGH. I need to be ME.
Over the past few months my work has naturally evolved into helping women navigate their way to finding themselves again. This emerged from my own personal experience of losing and then uncovering my own identity.
Does this resonate with you? I would love to hear your story.